When I Was Eight
Mark 4: 35-41
When I was eight – I almost drowned.
I thought I was invincible in the water – and so without hesitation I jumped right into the hotel pool where we were staying in Florida while my dad attending a banking convention. I was eight and I thought I was invincible in the water.
We were headed towards the pool, where there was a twilight cocktail party going on around the edges. I was ahead of my parents – running at full speed and so I jumped and launched myself into the pool.
I sunk straight to the bottom and pushed myself off the bottom towards the top – expecting to the water to hold me. But the water didn’t hold me this time and I sank back down to the bottom – simultaneously realizing that I hadn’t taken in enough air and that I was a bit farther away from the edge of the pool than I might have liked. A feeling of panic immediately and violently appeared in my body and in my mind.
I pushed myself off the bottom of the pool towards the top. I took a huge gulp of air - but also what seemed like a gallon of water - that tasted like a batch of badly mixed Kool-Aid. I went down again and felt the force of the water beating on my temples and my eyes sting from the pressure.
Down I went again to the bottom and back up again. Why doesn’t anyone see me? I can’t scream or ask for help and I feel as if I am filling up with water.
Down I went again and I am beginning to lose my bearings. The panic comes over me like a wave during a rough storm. I push myself up through the water towards the top – but it is harder to push and I feel weak. My hand reaches out – searching for the edge of the pool. My legs are kicking as hard as they can – I am trying to hold myself up and I am reaching for something to hold on to.
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Now I’m on a boat and we are out to sea.
We had been around the water all day. Jesus, the teacher, loves the water and many of his moments of healing and teaching happen around the sea. I have noticed times when he stops and sits on the edge or on a nearby rock and simply rests – looking at the water - drinking it all in. He slows down and then seems filled with fresh resolve, fresh courage and strength. Sometimes he prays as he watches the sea and he looks as if he found a deep internal peace. Today he ministered and taught the crowds from the front of the boat! He is so unpredictable – he always surprises us!
He had sat in the front of the boat teaching and telling stories all day long – many of the things in parables. He told them a story about the scattering of seeds, some of which fell on the path, some amongst thorns, others on rocks and then those that fell on the good and rich soil. He talked about how seeds grow strong and about the tiniest of seeds – the mustard seed which grows into the strongest of trees. Later he explained that the seeds are like our faith which also needs to be tended to and cultivated. When we do that – our faith will grow and keep us strong and courageous during rough times. The teacher – he is a man sent from God. We can all tell and we just love being around him. But it had been a busy day full of teaching for him - and the crowds wanted to hear even more. They would have stayed all night I think – if they could. But Jesus was tired and it was twilight – and so all of us climbed into the boat with him and pushed out to sea.
Something in the air was not quite right tonight and before we knew it a storm came up out of nowhere! It had been so calm and beautiful during the day – and as dusk came the wind really began to pick up. The boat began rocking little by little - but our hushed conversations continued without interruption. However soon - the wind grew in its intensity and the waves began to smack the side with a pretty ominous force.
The boat began to bounce up and down and the waves spewed forth a spray that whipped the sides of my face and stung my eyes. We stopped talking and that feeling of panic immediately and violently appeared in my body and in my mind. A fear just rose from an ancient and deep place inside my gut and I felt like I was going to lose it and jump out of my skin. I held onto the sides of the boat for dear life and then I wondered just where Jesus was in all of this?
Where is Jesus? Where is Jesus when you need him?
And then - just at that moment –the moment I asked - I turned around and Jesus was right there – behind me and beside me - all this time asleep in the boat. He was asleep in the boat – calm, trusting and peaceful. He was resting in the storm. The others woke him up and they were questioning him – almost yelling at him. “Teacher – don’t you care?” they asked. I wondered what he would do.
He stood up - and we all held our breath and watched him standing there - steady in the boat - with the wind and the waves all around him. He looked so calm. And then with three simple words - he calmed the storm and all of our fears.
Peace – he said.
Be still – he said.
Peace Be Still.
Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
And then he looked right at me and I knew he saw me and I knew that everything was going to be alright…..and he reached his hand out towards me…
...and pulled me up and out of the water - safely onto the side of the pool. Because Jesus was and always will be - right there beside me and behind me all the time.
Amen
©2008 Rev. Deborah J. Blanchard
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