First Baptist Church on Littleton Common    

Walking Alongside

Ruth 1

“A long time ago, Mary made a promise to Bill.

She knelt at the altar, a wide-eyed bride, and pledged to love and care for her sturdy groom in sickness and in health.

Their good fortune lasted for three decades - until her fireman husband was critically injured battling a blaze. He suffered permanent brain damage and lapsed into a coma. But Mary kept her vows. For 13 ½ , she waited and prayed for him to wake. Every day, she helped dress and feed him. Every year, she baked him birthday cakes. She kissed him, talked to him, and longed for him to say her name - just once.

In the end, there were no words. But there were no regrets either.  Mary loved Bill, and she stayed by his side until the day he died. And though some people couldn't have done what she did, she felt no burden.

"You get married, you love the person, what's so hard?" she says. "What have I missed? I haven't missed anything. He was who I wanted to be with."”

This true story, goes on to tell about the extraordinary level of commitment that Mary went through for 13 ½ years to care for her husband, then 53 years old,  father of their five children, following an accident at a fire scene that left him brain dead and in a coma.   Mary brought him home after eight months in the hospital and with the help of nurses kept him home, talking to him constantly, playing music for him, showing him photos, dressed and exercised him.  He was present for holidays and family gatherings, his children got married and nine grandchildren were born over this time span of 5000 days.    There was never any response from Bill and Mary never did hear his voice again.  Shortly before Christmas in 1995 he developed pneumonia and died peacefully in his bed about a month after that at the age 66.  [1]

This true and very humbling story is an example of hesed, a practice of extraordinary commitment, loyalty and steadfast love in a relationship.    Mary kept her promise to love her husband in sickness and in health until death would separate them from one another.  Her decision to continue to walk alongside her husband Bill no matter what - was a rare showing of commitment and fidelity in a time when loyalties change as quickly as presidential polls, promises and marketing strategies.   We live in a culture where the words fidelity and commitment seem to be four letter words.  Commitment isn’t what it used to be. 

You may be familiar with the story of a young man who walked into a card shop looking for an appropriate card for his girlfriend. He asked the store clerk to pick out something for him that would express his very deep sentiment …and so she picked out the best-selling card and gave it to the young man.   It said simply, "To the only girl I have ever loved."

The young man said, "Terrific! Wonderful! I'll take six of those!" [2]

Commitment isn’t what it used to be.  There seems to be less substance behind the word itself. 

Hesed, covenantal loyalty and steadfast kindness, is the foundation of the relationships found in our biblical story of Ruth, relationships that are both human and divine.   Hesed should also be the foundation of our relationships with one another.   Hesed is the love that holds our memories – our memories of the relationships we have with the saints in our lives whom we remember and give thanks for on this All Saints Day. 

The story of Ruth and Naomi is a rich narrative of two people choosing to walk alongside one another through life.   Naomi, her husband and her two sons leave Bethlehem for Moab, a foreign country, because of a famine in the land.    Apparently tough economic times had hit Bethlehem.  Sometime after their arrival Naomi’s husband dies and the two sons marry Moabite women.  After ten years both sons die and Naomi is left alone with Ruth and Orpah, her daughter-in-laws.  Tragic personal challenges had it this family.  Naomi hears that things are a bit better back in Bethlehem, therefore she, Ruth and Orpah prepare to return home.   On the journey Naomi has a change of heart and tries to send both Ruth and Orpah back to their family home.  Naomi knows that these two women would be foreigners in Bethlehem, and because of the Jewish law and customs would have a difficult, if not impossible time finding husbands.  Out of a deep sense of love and kindness, Naomi tries to send them both home with a blessing. 

 “May the Lord show kindness to you, as you have done to your dead and to me.  May the Lord grant that each of you would find rest in the home of another husband.”  

She asks God to show hesed – or steadfast kindness, loyalty and mercy to them when they return home.   

Orpah leaves but Ruth chooses to stay with Naomi.   Naomi who has lost her home, her husband, her sons, and her status does not understand how Ruth – related to her by marriage – who would be a foreigner, a stranger, and a widow would choose to stay with her.  Ruth showing covenantal loyalty makes this promise – an act of hesed – and walks alongside and with Naomi. 

“Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you.  Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God.  Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried.  May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely in anything but death separates you and me. When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her.”

Ruth is willing to change her life, where she lives, her friends, her family, her place of rest and her god – to be walk alongside and remain together and loyal to Naomi.    They return to Bethlehem and the story goes on to show that the Biblical characters exhibit and practice this loving-kindness, loyalty, mercy, care, compassion to one another.  Through it all we see that God’s hesed – God’s relentless love and loyalty is also present.   Ruth and Naomi are blessed, taken care of and held by God. 

This fierce loyalty that is declared and lived out by Ruth is rare today.  Promises, covenants, and loyalty such as this one – are scarce.   I read somewhere that today the word commitment for many people means “at their convenience” because it is all too easy to give up and move on to the next friend, relationship, marriage or church community.   The devotion and commitment that Mary showed to Bill and that Ruth showed Naomi are examples of people who take seriously their covenantal relationships to one another and to God.

Rabbi Sara Pasache-Orlow explains that  “hesed appears in the Torah to communicate God’s kindness and love toward humanity as well as human kindness and love toward each other” and that  “human hesed …results in evoking God’s hesed” which build “relationships of understanding.” [3]

Relationships of understanding built upon covenantal loyalty with God and with one another is what we remember on All Saints Day.  We remember the saints in our lives - the people in our hearts who walked alongside us – who are no longer with us.   We remember the steadfast loyalty and love that we shared with them and promises we made with them similar to that which Ruth proclaimed when she said “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God.  Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried.” 

Spouses, children, parents, friends – our saints with whom we had built relationships of understanding and care.   These were the ones with whom we journeyed for a time in our life:

Through moment of birth and life.

Through moments of sickness and death.

Through times of personal and national tragedies.

Through times of celebration and times of hope.

Through times of service, mission and care for one another. 

Where you go I will go – and our memories return to them 

Saints who have graced our lives, touched our hearts, who have inspired us, loved us and worked to bring little pieces of the kingdom of heaven here on earth. 

There is a story of a little girl who was walking through a church with her mother.   She looked around at all the stained glass windows and asked; “Mommy, who are those people?”

The mom replied; “Those are saints, honey.”

And so later on the pastor asked who the saints of the church are and the little girl, raised her hand and said; “Saints are the people who light shines through.” 

Saints are the people whose God’s light shines through.  Just as a stained glass window allows brilliant sunlight to shine through the glass, illuminating the beauty of the window, so “saints” are people who allow the Holy Spirit to shine through them, illuminating and commenting on the beauty and tenderness of a loving God. 

Mary and Ruth – are saints.  God’s light, loving-kindness, mercy and loyalty was shining right through them and was stronger than the adversity that was before them.   God’s love will always be stronger than any of the challenges that we will face.    May we choose to live forward and with hope and may God’s light and relentless love be reflected in you and in all the ways that you love and serve.  

Amen. 

Rev. Deborah J. Blanchard