Three Cups of Tea
Matthew 25:31-46
Three cups of tea.
To win the hearts of the people, it really takes three cups of tea.
The first cup of tea you share with someone – you are a stranger.
The second cup of tea - you become a friend.
The third cup of tea you become family – and for family you are prepared to do anything even die.
This is the wisdom of Haji Ali, the village chief of a small Pakistani village in the Himalayan mountains, when he was giving Greg Mortenson, an American climber turned humanitarian some advice about building a school for the children in his village. This inspiring and true story is told in the book Three Cups of Tea, One Man’s Mission to Promote Peace . . . One School at a Time.
In 1993 Greg Mortenson attempted to climb K2, which is the second highest mountain in the world and is located in the Northern corner of Pakistan. The highest elevation of K2 is 28,251 feet and one out of every four people who try to reach its summit dies trying. Greg Mortenson although he was an American, had been brought up by his Lutheran missionary parents, who lived in what is now Tanzania in Africa. His father advocated for and then founded the Kilimanjaro Christian Medical Center, a teaching hospital that is still in operation. Mortenson had three sisters: Kari, Sonja Joy and Christa. Christa, who had epilepsy, would die suddenly at age twenty-three and she was one of the main reasons that Greg first attempted to scale K2 - in honor of his little sister.
During his climbing attempt he would get separated from his group and his guide and he became exhausted, ill and weak. In that condition he stumbled into the small remote village of Korphe, which lay almost unnoticed in the same Karakoram Range of mountains. He was welcomed with grace, hospitality, and many warm cups of butter tea. During his recovery he came to know and love the people of Korphe. While he was there he asked the village chief if he could see the children’s school and so one morning he was led to the school and that incident is described in the book.
“Haji Ali led Mortenson up a steep path to a vast open ledge eight hundred feet above the Braldu (river). The view was exquisite, with the ice giants of the upper Baltoro razored into the blue far above Korphe’s gray rock walls. But Mortenson wasn’t admiring the scenery. He was appalled to see eighty two children, seventy-eight boys, and the four girls who had the pluck to join them, kneeling on the frosty ground, in the open. Haji Ali, avoiding Mortenson’s eyes, said that the village had no school, and the Pakistani government didn’t provide a teacher. A teacher cost the equivalent of one dollar a day, he explained, which was more than the village could afford.” [1]
After that surprising realization Greg Mortenson decided that somehow, someway he would build the children and the village of Korphe a school building in honor of his sister. Eventually after months of work, personal sacrifice, cultural and ethnic misunderstandings, having to build a bridge first to get the supplies to the village and many, many cups of tea with people who would become friends and advocates, Mortenson did build that school. Since that time in 1993 he has worked and funded, either fully or partially 78 more schools, 520 teachers, school libraries, 14 women’s vocational centers, initiated water projects such as water filtration systems for the area, as well as a myriad of other educational and community based projects. [2]
One inspired and determined man made a difference – one cup of tea at a time.
To break down barriers and misunderstandings it really takes three cups of tea.
The first cup of tea you share with someone – you are a stranger.
The second cup of tea - you become a friend.
The third cup of tea you become family.
Greg Mortenson did that through the strength and power of creating relationships of understanding and caring and he was able to make a difference in the world. They say you can’t change the whole world – but you can try! What this man did - is what Jesus tells us is important.
In the Gospel of Matthew Jesus said that on the day of reckoning (whenever it may be) when the Son of Man comes and all the nations are gathered, the people will be separated just as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
"And he will say to those on this right, 'Come with me, for I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'”
"And those on his right will ask, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
And the Son of Man will say, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these children of mine, you did for me.’
In this particular passage – Jesus is clearly saying that the criteria that God is looking for whenever the end is – is how we have helped those in need. In Matthew 25 which is another apocalyptic passage where we find the people concerned about the end of the age – the criteria for entering the kingdom is how we have helped those in need. Those who shut their eyes and turned the other way and basked in their material abundance and ignored the hungry, the thirsty, the homeless, the stranger, the sick and the prisoners - are left out.
When we are drowning in our abundance and we can’t see the hungry child right in front of us – we are not looking at one another with the eyes of Christ. When we begin to concentrate and dwell on our wealth – we are not caring for one another with the eyes of our heart and the work of our hands. If we follow the example of Jesus Christ we see that he was out there living with, working with and loving the lepers, the widows, the poor, the sick, the lonely and the discarded members of society. He built genuine relationships with them. He took time to sit with them, eat with them, walk with them, celebrate with them, and mourn with them. Jesus took time and built relationships with people, he came to know their story and he loved them. The relationship that Jesus had with people changed from strangers – to friends – to family. Jesus was in a ministry to the lost and the fragmented people of society and gathered those people unto himself and made them whole. We can treat one another with that same understanding and tenderness.
The first cup of tea you share with someone – you are a stranger.
The second cup of tea - you become a friend.
The third cup of tea you become family – and for family you are prepared to do anything even die.
Having a cup of tea with someone – whether they are a stranger, friend or family, usually brings to mind an image of a leisurely experience that involves sitting down, slowing down and being able to look and listen to someone across a table from you. When you are having tea together, time slows down, your life quiets down and you enjoy moments of your day by yourself, with God or with someone else at a sacred pace.
Our culture tempts us to move fast. Dunkin Donuts promos are with Rachel Ray of 30 minute meals and their slogan is “How do you keep America Running?” The Republic of Tea’s purpose is to enrich people’s lives “Sip by Sip rather than Gulp by Gulp” providing “a life of health, balance and well-being.”
When you sit down with someone to have to have a cup of tea, you wait for the water to boil and you wait for the tea to steep. You drink it slowly, and maybe have something to eat, but everything about having tea is slower and more leisurely. You have a chance to talk to someone – to think about what you are saying before you say it. To think and absorb what the other person is saying. You hear their story and maybe your heart and soul – opens up a little bit better and you get to know the person behind the words and they come to understand who you are as well.
That is what happened to Greg Mortenson. The building was really about building relationships. It was about the time that he spent with the families and the children in the village. It wasn’t at all about an American coming in to rescue the people of Pakistan. It was about building a mutual relationship that grew and unfolded from strangers to friends and then to family.
This lesson about the three cups of tea came to Mortenson from the very wise Haji Ali after about two years and at the point that they were finally building the school despite the numerous obstacles that had happened along the way. Mortenson was so impatient out on the construction site because the workers were building it at their own pace. He was so impatient that Haji Ali took away his plumb line, his level and his accounting book, locked them up and sat him down for tea. He said:
“Sit down. And shut your mouth. You’re making everyone crazy. If you want to thrive in Baltistan, you must respect our ways. The first time you share tea with a Baltin, you are a stranger. The second time you take tea, you are an honored guest. The third time you share a cup of tea you become family and for our family, we are prepared to do anything, even die. Doctor Greg, you must make time to share three cups of tea. We may be uneducated. But we are not stupid. We have lived and survived here for a long time.”
Mortenson concludes that Haji Ali taught him the most important lesson; “to share three cups of tea, to slow down and make building relationships as important as building projects. He taught me that I had more to learn from the people I work with than I could ever hope to teach them.”[3]
Think of the blessings and the changes could be made here in Littleton, or in our own families or around the world if we were to be purposeful in attending to all our relationships and would allow time for the unfolding of those friendships to occur.
This week we will gather together with strangers, or friends or family for Thanksgiving. This American holiday is about time and about relationships. It is not about taking stock of the abundance of our things – it is not about the food. Thanksgiving is about the relationships. It is about breaking down barriers of misunderstanding that might occur between friends and family. Imagine what a couple of cups of tea – one sip at a time – might do for your relationships this week. Imagine what a relaxed and mutual conversation of hearing and listening might do for your relationships this week or any time in your life.
- Maybe someone who was a stranger – will come to your table and will become a friend.
- Maybe someone who was a friend - with whom you have a misunderstanding - will come to your table and that friendship will be restored.
- Maybe someone who is a family member - with whom you had a disagreement – will come to your table and the bonds of love within your family will become stronger.
It’s a healthy and holy to be gentle in our relationships – because as we have seen this week life is so very fragile. Maybe we have shared one cup of tea or conversation with Christine – or maybe two – or maybe three. She is family and we long for more conversations with her. We are willing to do anything for a family member – and so we lift her up in our constant prayers as we do Caroline, Nick, Mark, Daniel and Griffin.
And because we can so clearly see the holiness and the sacredness of relationships and friendships – and how fragile life can be – let us remember what is important this week as we gather together to ask the Lord’s blessings. May we all share with those who gather - a cup of tea - maybe two or even three - and may we do it in the name of Jesus Christ who showed us how to love one another and to care for those who are lost, for those who are lonely and for those who are without.
Thanks be to God.
Amen
Rev. Deborah J. Blanchard
November 23, 2008
[1] Mortenson, Greg and Relin, David Oliver. Three Cups of Tea (Penguin Books, New York, 2006)p32
[3] Three Cups of Tea p150
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