First Baptist Church on Littleton Common    

I and Thou

Mark 10:32-44

In case you are not familiar with it, Al-Anon is a twelve-step recovery program that was founded in 1951 by Lois Wilson, the wife of Bill Wilson who co-founded Alcoholics Anonymous.  Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics. It is an anonymous recovery group that often meets in church basements or hospital community rooms, and offers experience, strength and hope, as well as encouragement and comfort.

There are twelve steps towards recovery, and the first step begins this way:

“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable” or in the case of Al-Anon, “we admitted we were powerless over the problem of alcoholism and our lives had become unmanageable.”

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The first step involves admitting that one is powerless over something – and when one comes to that place they are able to begin a journey towards recovery – which is always ongoing.  But as you know with any type of program that first step can be a hard one.  For a variety of reasons, it’s hard for people to admit that they are powerless over anything, and there are many who won’t let go of the illusion that they have power to control others or their behavior.   One of the phrases in Al-Anon is “you didn’t cause it, you can’t control it and you can’t cure it.”

It is hard to let go of the desire to control anyone or anything else. 

A member of an Al-Anon program shares this struggle with the concept of powerlessness; “Step One was the hardest thing for me to accept. Powerless over alcohol?  A can of beer?  A bottle of vodka?  They are just objects – lifeless nothings.  It felt like I was admitting I was powerless over a bar of soap or some other inanimate object.  It wasn’t until I read a passage in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon that it hit me.  Accepting this step didn’t mean a weakness of character.  It meant honestly admitting there are things that we can’t change. Accepting that I am powerless over alcohol puts an end to struggling.  It frees me to work on what can be changed. ” Another person shares her struggle with control by saying, “Today I know I am powerless over all the nouns and pronouns in my life – other persons, places and things.” [1]

Many of us are under the illusion that we can control other people’s behavior which is exactly what the disciples thought they could do to Jesus in the lesson today when they say to him,  “teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask.”

Mark 10 in its context shows us that the group of followers and disciples were traveling on their way to Jerusalem with Jesus who was leading the way.  He had just blessed the children and told the inquisitive rich young man, whom he looked at and loved,  that he would have to give away all this money to inherit eternal life.    Jesus predicts his death and suffering for the third time,  which then leads us to today’s  story that reveals a little power struggle going on within the disciples individually and within their inner circle.     

Brothers James and John wanted to sit next to Jesus when they all got to heaven.  One on his right - and the other on his left.   Here is what they ask:

“Teacher we want you to do for us whatever we ask.  Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.”   (Mark 10: 35, 37)    A little presumptuous - don’t you think?

Apparently the disciples were not immune to the tantalizing taste of a tiny bit of power – and were hungry to possess it even they passed from this world to the next.  This story is also found in Matthew and Luke although they vary slightly.   In Matthew, the blame is put on the mother of James and John who asks the question about the heavenly seating arrangements, although Jesus still directs his response to her sons.  In Luke, apparently there is general dispute going on about who is the greatest. 

“Teacher we want you to do for us whatever we ask.  Let one of us sit at your right, and the other at your left in your glory.”   It is a conversation we probably have heard before - a group of children jockeying for the front seat of the mini-van, especially if it has a DVD player in it.  Here James and John wanted the best seats in the house.   

Jesus responds by saying, “you don’t know what you are asking.  Can you drink the same cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?”

They think they can – but still don’t understand despite the more frequent references coming from Jesus about his upcoming betrayal, suffering and death.  Jesus clarifies that not even he holds the power to determine people’s placeholder in heaven.  The story continues as we are privy to some of the group dynamics of the disciples; “the ten heard about this and they were indignant with James and John.” 

But then Jesus calls them all together and reminds them – again – that in the economy of God’s Kingdom – there was no place for “power over” one another.  Instead they were to be servant leader and were to love one another with an attitude of service, care and humility.   They were to live and die with the heart of a servant.  

“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them.  Not so with you.  Instead whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave – just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”   (Matthew 20: 25-28)

This part in the story about servant leadership is in all three synoptic Gospels – with Luke saying “The greatest among you must become as the youngest and the leader as one who serves. For which is the greater, one who sits at table, or the one who serves?”  Luke 22:26-27

This is clear. Following Jesus is about servant leadership.  Power plays in relationships had no place in Jesus’ thinking.  Jesus saw people with the heart of a servant – with a heart of humility and love –and was not interested in manipulating, using them or making them feel worthless.   Jesus saw every person as one of God’s children, who was created with a purpose, and he had a respectful and holy “I –Thou” relationship with them and never an “I – It” attitude. 

Martin Buber says that there are two attitudes or two ways of relating to people.    One is when we experience everything around us as “things.”  All that happens around us are simply events.  The world is detached and people are there for us to take advantage of, use power over or to simply ignore.   God is nothing personal.  All is an “I – It” relationship.

 But at some point, Buber points out, we make a connection with God, a divine relationship is established and there is a connection.   The relationship turns into something deeper and it becomes an “I –Thou” relationship.  We make a deep spiritual connection that “stirs in the depth of who we are.”   What was just “it” now becomes something holy and you are aware of the connection between you, between people, between creation and between God.   You value people in a community and beyond.  You can see the big picture, you can step back and feel people’s joy and pain and hear their stories. You look at the day and its surrounding with new eyes.   Because of your connection with God , your attitude and your relationships with others becomes grounded and infused with holy respect and love – you  have an “I-Thou” attitude.

 This is the essence of our passage today.  Jesus sees relationships with other people as “I and Thou.”  Jesus has a heart of a servant for other people.  There is no power over another person and he does not treat people with an “I –It” attitude.  He lived with a heart of service and care for one another.  

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

 Where is the place of power in our own theology or philosophy of relationships? 

Power is defined as having an effect on or an influence or control upon or over others.  There are different kinds of power which we can abuse if one’s theory of relationships has an element of “I- It” to it.

Some of the types of power that are used and abused are;

·         Political power

·         Physical power

·         Emotional power

·         Mental power

·         Financial power

·         Spiritual power

We have seen the abuse of all of those powers in our life and in our world, but we also know of many others who use their financial resources, their knowledge, and their spiritual faith – to help others and to serve.  They do not feel they are in a position above others - but in a position to serve.  They have a heart of service and serving, as did Jesus who constantly demonstrated a sacrificial and holy love.  There was a respect and holiness, and “I-Thou” attitude for those he met, taught, healed, and inspired. 

Do we have the attitude that Christ had about others?  What is our attitude or philosophy of relationships?   Are we servants with one another?  Do we live and act “as Jesus did?”  Can we heal ourselves from the urge to “lord over” someone with emotional, physical or spiritual power?  How do we think about people who have different political views than we do?  How do we think about people who parent their children differently that we do?   Do we ask ourselves – what would Jesus do?  How would he treat this person?

There is only one who is the Lord of all – the one whom we call Creator – who is above all and knows all.  The Lord of all Creation of water, earth and sky. The heavens are your Tabernacle, Glory to the Lord on high. [2]

This God of Wonders is the God who is my Higher Power, whom I trust, and love in the midst of trials and tribulations, times of joy and hope, and in my everydayness.   I have a very personal “I-Thou” relationship with God the Creator, as well as Jesus Christ and I am sustained by the strength of the Holy Spirit. I am always grateful that they are in control and I am not.  But I do need daily reminders about who is in control, because we try to take that control back.  I have learned that the only thing I really can control is myself and we are given the gifts, power and ability to do that.  

The second step in the Twelve Step programs says, “we came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity” for just as Jesus acknowledged to his followers that day there is only one who really knows and that is the omnipotent,  omniscient and omnipresent God of ours.

This week may we ponder and pray about power in our relationships, and may we always have the attitude of Jesus Christ, who, being in the very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant. (Philippians 2:5-7)

Amen

Rev. Deborah J. Blanchard